My Dream Wedding

The following is a result of three bowls and pure boredom. Realistically I can't picture myself ever taking the walk down the aisle...ever. But that doesn't stop me from planning a dream wedding. As much as I love the summer, I don't know if I'd be able to have my wedding during that season so my month of choice would be October, preferably Columbus Day weekend. Considering it's a long weekend, my guests would be able to plan accordingly, especially those who I'll meet when I leave a few years in either New York, California, or Texas. It will of course take place in Massachusetts because there's no other place I could picture myself beginning a new part of my life, on top of the fact New England is one of the prettiest locations in the country to be in the fall to view the foliage. But post wedding I'd be more than willing to relocate back to a state where the average temperature is 70 degree, maybe South Carolina, my parents always speak so highly of the southern Carolina. 

My mom raised me Catholic and forced me to go to CCD classes for years just so I could receive my confirmation because she was convinced there was going to be a day where I'd meet a nice Catholic man. It was her fantasy that he'd be able to persuade me that the church where I was baptized was the perfect place for my wedding. I wish I never went through with it because now I feel a little bit obligated to get married in a church, but for some reason I equate church weddings with being large and I've always pictures a relatively small wedding. My cousin had hers in a tiny little chapel type building in the woods on Cape Cod. I must have been only twelve or thirteen years old but I knew if I ever were to get married it would be in a location just like her. 

I never planned on wearing a white wedding dress. One because I think it's so cliche and I'm known to go against the grind, and two cause there is not way I am pure enough to get away with that. God would be looking down on me with a "shame on you" glare and what type of bride needs those stares on her big day, not me. Like I said, I fell in love with my cousin's wedding location but my opinion was she didn't embellish or put in a lot of effort when it came to decorations. I on the other hand am very particular when it comes to putting together anything relating to transforming bland into something exciting. 

Although my style has evolved over the years, I've always stayed true to the bohemian lifestyle. I can only hope that my fiance will be more than willing the accommodate to an unconventional type wedding, because my wedding is the last chance where I can purely selfish and demand everything I want. Afterwards I'll be stuck with my spouse f-o-r-e-v-e-r. Anywho, champagne, green and white would be my color scheme. As for cake, I have two choices one is more conservative than the other. The boho side of me wants a more artsy type, while that small conservative princess for a day side of me wants a more traditional cake. 

Without a doubt, I'd make my splash of color raspberry or red. Probably the former. These are a few ways I'd integrate it: 

1.I'm sure I could somehow incorporate this into an alcoholic beverage, vodka with a splash of sprite anyone?

2. Headbands are one of my favorite accessories and to be frank, I don't think I look that great without one in my hair. So with that being said, this headband will in paired with either a half up-half down curled do or a low curled ponytail.  

3. I really want to make my accent color pop, so I'm adding it to all the tables. Not only is the napkin display a great way to to integrate the color, it's also a good way to keep the bohemian feel alive. 

These are just a few examples of how to add some spunk. Luckily by having a wedding in the fall I also get to play off the natural color of the leaves. I'm hoping I'll get fortunate enough to have a lot of yellow leaves or even some red fading ones. 

Some other touches I'll make sure to add include: 

4. I found these bark styled pots online and I would either love to find where to buy them or at least if there was a way to make it. I really love the color of the flowers, they're not white, and it looks to me as if there is a champagne colored center to them.

5. Also online I came across these pine cone candle holders. Again I'd like to know where I can find these, but like the flower pots they seem like an easy how-to project. I haven't thought about where I'd have my reception, but if Columbus weekend happened to fall during the Indian Summer and I get blessed with warm weather I'd love to have an outdoor tent close by wooden chapel.  

6. Weddings aren't weddings without a good selection of food. I'm a huge big fan of apples and I'm a huge fan of fairs. So what's more appropriate than caramel covered apples. Sounds ridiculous, probably because it is, but that's also because I am, so it makes perfect sense.

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Music Find: Don't Worry, I'm Yours [Remastered]

I happened to stumble upon this particular mashup while sitting outside enjoying a Bud Light Lime and a bowl of Mary Jane. For a second I closed my eyes and put myself in my car cruising up the coast, or laying on the beach. The seventy-degree weather sure helped put me in the right state of mind, and listening to this song just added to that. This is the perfect song to sit back and relax and with over one million plays and a hundred thousand downloads the numbers speak to themselves with how excellent this track is.

DJ Dain does an awesome job at mixing up three unwinding songs including Bobby McFerrin's Don't Worry, Be Happy, Jason Mraz's I'm Yours, and my all time favorite Israel K's Somewhere Over the Rainbow.

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Dick for the Day

I'd be lying if I told you that I never questioned what it would be like to have a dick for a day. God blessed me with a vagina, but lately is seems more like a curse. Don't get me wrong, I truly love my dear friend, as having her around provides for numerous benefits such as free drinks at the bar, the ability to get out of speeding tickets, and the all encompassing power of the pussy just to name a few. But my list of complaints has piled up so high that I find myself more and more often thinking about how life would be living as a boy. Sure free drinks are nice and all, but having the power to pick who to buy drinks for seems more appealing. On top of minor things like that boys also don't have to constantly worry about getting pregnant, they are usually more capable of staying emotional rational when it comes to relationships, and they generally don't give a fuck about anything other than sex, beer, and video games. 

So I decided to come up with a list of the top ten things I would do if I was granted the privilege of having a cock for the day. I'm restricting myself to a twenty-four fantasy limit, because given an extension, I'd probably keep it.

In order from morning to night, here are the ten things me and my penis would aim to accomplish in one day:

1.    Wake up to discover my dick and within minutes proceed to give myself a handjob instead of my routine morning stretching. Then per usual, I'd go to the bathroom except I'd treat  my dick like one of those water shooting gun games at carnivals and fairs and aim my piss in the toilet. Or if I'm feeling daring enough I'd try to pee directly in the toilet without holding on it. Buck wild.

2.      Again per my usual routine of the day, I’d jump in the shower and give myself a second handy and try to discover what’s so great about balls.

3.    See if there’s any way I could find a girl to make me a breakfast sandwich and if successful I’ll attempt to seduce with cheesy pickup lines. If they fail, who’ll give a shit, it’s only morning and there’s plenty of pussy out there.

4.      Assuming that if I had a dick, I’d be a typical bro, so after breakfast I’d longboard to my bromigos to play some Call of Duty/Halo type video game for hours, then move to backyard to toss the lacrosse ball and football around in my lax pinnie until we start drinking. Depending on the weather time could be from when I arrive to 5 o’clock.

5.      At some point during bro time when casually just sitting, I’ll nonchalantly stick my hands down my pants regardless who is present. I always see guys doing this, and it somehow treated as a non-spoken about gesture. I know they’re not jacking off, so I have to believe that their just using it as a resting place for their hand…maybe to keep them warm? Whatever the reason is, I will partake.

6.     Get kicked in the balls- Just to see how bad it actually feels. Based on every guy’s reaction I’m sure it is truly painful. But for arguments sake, I want to experience it so when the time comes I can say it’s not where near comparison to child birth.

7.   Because I am an awesome bro, I’m once again assuming that I have muscles. I’ll need them to do kegstands for sixty plus seconds and other ridiculous drinking positions such as the gargoyle.

8.     Bar hopping- Unfortunately for me I wasn’t blessed with the strength to hold large amounts of  alcohol, therefore making it extremely hard to bounce from place to place without the risk of dying.  I’d use my man liver to give ridiculous amounts of alcohol and guide me through the night.

9.      Get into a bar fight. Regardless if I win or lose…getting in a bar fight has always been a dream of  mine, and considering how bro I’m making myself with a dick, I’ll leave victorious.

10.  Find someone to take home to put my dick in.  I don’t care if she doesn’t like giving head, she’s going to learn to like my hands on her head because I’ll also be getting my cocked sucked that night. We will proceed to have the remainder of the night until I am faced with the decision between two options.

a.       I convince her to sleep over that way in the morning I can manipulate her into spreading  her legs or mouth wide for my morning wood, and then I’ll tell her sweet nothings to make her believe I’m a good guy because maybe I’ll get breakfast out of it.

b.      Finish off the night by giving her a nice mushroom slap directly to the face.

Personally, I’d have to go with the latter because I’m not sure how satisfied I’d be with myself to find my day with a dick didn’t end with a cock slap to the face. Then I could safely say that I went out with a bang. 

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Sexual Philosophy

For only being three letters long, sex is a pretty big part of the way the world works. I find it very hard for someone to argue that sex is not a huge factor in why people act the way they do. The very existence of life derives from the act of sexual intercourse. Well, actually it once used to, but thanks to modern technology procedures such as artificial insemination can now create life. I read once somewhere that sex is the key to human civilization. That most scientists believe sexual selection (men doing things to impress women so that women will have sex with them) is probably the reason culture exits at all. I read this in one of Tucker Max’s books and even though over 90% of the book is crude humor and derogatory to women this part oddly made some sense to me. He goes on to argue that men have created art, built business, donated to charity, and invented things, to impress women- to eventually have sex with them. I always knew most of the time woman had the upper-hand, and as Samantha from “Sex and the City” once put it as “The Power of the Pussy”. But what I was reading from Max made realize how true it was to say the will to impress a woman motivates men to do great things, but also the ridiculous stuff as well (body spray, hair gel, tanning beds, chest waxing, etc).

The primitive motive at one time used to be for mating to keep generating life. I would say at a point sexual selection was more important than natural selection. Now with the way society is, I am not so sure how the whole thing works. It seemed easier before the Pandora Box full of disease, rapists, and adversity was open. Sex went from being a sacred act to one of the most taboo subjects in modern culture. And all these messages about sex through the media affect every single person viewing them in different ways. On top of that how those individuals were raised all has an effect on how a human being acts sexually as well.

Personally I feel a person ultimately needs to be emotionally stable to enter in a sexual relationship. If this person cannot create a solid line taking away their emotions from the act than it is inevitable that relationship will falter in the end. That is my opinion in the means of the conventional friends with benefits, no strings attached sort of relationship.

Those relationships often can turn in two ways: disaster or disaster down the line. Like I mentioned before, these relationships are inevitable to end poorly. I believe this because I believe the term sexual intercourse can be broken into two categories: lovemaking and lustmaking.  

It is easy to get caught up emotionally when in a sexual relationship with no terms or boundaries with the other person. It is supposed to be uncomplicated when you’re married because those rings and vows are supposed to entitle each person to one and another. Helps make it easier to believe they are faithful to each other. But without those rings it is just empty promises or I love yous that people need to rely on to mentally stay stable. Most often than not someone will overreact and it will end in disaster.

However there are some people out there whose issues of attachment and commitment have enabled them to develop a skill of being able to emotionally detach themselves from sex. It’s not love. It’s lustmaking with a good friend, a drinking buddy, whomever. I think my dual meaning of sex makes it easier to accept all kinds of sexual choices, as long as the person can handle their emotions and safety, all is fair game, free of judgment.

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Kony 2012: Bringing Justice to the Invisible Children

The filmmaker behind the viral “Kony 2012’’ video believes there is a simple reason for the exploding popularity of the short film depicting the human rights abuses of a Ugandan warlord and his guerrilla army.

“I think it’s because it’s a human story,’’ director Jason Russell told TODAY’s Ann Curry Friday. “We’re all human beings, and for some reason we forgot about our humanity because of politics and because all these things we’re talking about have paralyzed us.’’

“Kony 2012,’’ a 30-minute documentary film that aims to expose the abuses of Ugandan guerrilla Joseph Kony and his murderous Lord’s Resistance Army, has received more than 52 million views on YouTube and more than 14 million on Vimeo since it was posted Monday. The viral video has received support on Twitter from celebrities like Oprah Winfrey, Rihanna and Justin Bieber, who combined have more than 40 million followers. Russell crafted the film for Invisible Children, a San Diego-based activist group.

Invisible Children’s goal is to have Kony tried in the International Criminal Court, where he is wanted for human rights abuses related to his cult-like army, which allegedly has used child soldiers. Kony is being pursued by government soldiers in four different Central African nations, and last year the United States sent Special Forces troops to train Ugandan soldiers in case of a military intervention against Kony. The video advocates everyone putting up posters of Kony worldwide on April 20 to bring more attention to the issue.

“We can all agree we can stop him this year,’’ Russell said. “We’re not going to wait.’’

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Rory Beca's Spring Collaboration for Forever 21

This spring, designer Rory Beca teamed up with Forever 21 to create a fun flirty collection that is reasonably priced with all items under $25. 

Known for her colors and prints, Rory is inspired by her travels, arts, fabrics, and music. Her pieces have an elegant way of showing of the feminine body yet maintain a wearable grace, and her spring line is no exception. Some trends that can be found in her collection include bright colors, feather patterns, and chiffon and silk fabrics. I like how she has a very versatile assortment of apparel which ranges from rompers, maxi and short dresses, skirts, color block tanks, floral and feathered tanks, and bohemian tops.

This is not Rory's first collection for the company, her winter collection is still available which includes sleek black tops and white and black blazers. Aside from her collections at Forever 21 her clothing can be found at select boutiques worldwide and select Saks Fifth Avenue, Barneys New York, Bergdoff Goodman,  Neiman Marcus, and Nordstrom as well as online at shopbop.com and revolveclothing.com

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Breakfast's Served

Welcome to The Kitchen Table 

The Kitchen Table has always served as a place of conversation. It's the place where everyone got together and has been the heart of my apartments and homes. We eat there, we work there, and more importantly we talk there. It's unlikely that most of what I'm bringing to this table will be of interest to you unless you already know me- and even then that may be up for debate. 

By being located in a place of comfort, the Kitchen Table is a place where unconventional straight up talk occurs. Provocative at times, and a little rough around the edges, our diverse material caters to thousands each day ranging from music to comedy, relationship discussions, news, sports, and general pop-culture.  

The reason I decided to start setting this table is because I didn't want to forget the meals and conversations that I've had. It has and will continue to be a place where we can let loose and express what is on our minds free of judgment. Unfortunately there are some people who don't have the opportunity to express their opinions on certain matters so I hope this can serve as a place where those individuals can turn to articulate their outlooks.  So, grab a cup of coffee, the newspaper, or just call your friends to head on over. Come in and take a seat around the table. 

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