Friend Zone

I feel the need to take the time and discuss something that some guys just don’t seem to understand, YOU ARE JUST A FUCKING(not literal) FRIEND! If those words come out of my mouth and are aimed at you, I am never going to hook up with you, end of story.

There are two categories which girls place men:

1. Guys I Want To Bang
2. Just A Friend

If you are placed in the category Guys I Want To Bang, well congratulations it’s pretty clear I am willing to rip off your clothes and do all sorts of dirty things with you. And if one of the guys in this category pose as a potential relationship in the future, even better.

However, if you are in the Just A Friend category there are no exceptions as to why I should ever want to hook up with you. It’s pretty fucking clear and simple that I do not need your assistance in the bedroom, you are the guy I vent to about the guys I bring into the bedroom. And if you have a problem with that, then sorry I’m not sorry cause I am never putting my tongue in your mouth no matter how many times you ask me “Why can’t we just hook up once?”

Why do these poor souls get stuck in the friend-zone? I honestly don’t know but there is something during our first meeting that goes off in my head that can only see you as a friend. It’s not that you’re not good looking enough or whatever, but I just don’t want to fuck you. Maybe it’s because I’ve received one too many desperate drunk texts where you reveal your love for me, and that kinda turns me off. But I’m there for you if you need advice about a girl, for sure! Just don’t let that girl be me because I will turn you down time and time again.

If I wanted to hook up with you, wouldn’t you think that in the past 3 years since we met our freshman year I would have done it myself? Follow the bouncing ball now dude, YOU ARE IN THE FRIEND-ZONE.